Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
