I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
