I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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