It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Screwed.edu
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
