Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
