Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
