Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You pole danced in your parka.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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