Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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