And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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