I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
