apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
