she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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