dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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