Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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