I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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