i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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