by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The air taste purple.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
