I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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