I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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