Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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