i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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