Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
