dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
