we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
