The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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