Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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