You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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