We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think my moral compass just broke
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