u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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