just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
