if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
