ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
