I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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