i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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