It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
