My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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