she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize