Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
