He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
