That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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