i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
