So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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