remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I love you. Go after that dick
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
