I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
