You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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