hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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