check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
