better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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