is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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