I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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