You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
