Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
