I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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