Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
