you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
