he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
