MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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