Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
