How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
