His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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