i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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