every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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