I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
