i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
