Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Vodka?
Forever.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
