hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
