My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
