We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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